Please read my story???? Will it get better??? What should I do?

Your very selfish with your life. You don't accept who you are. You sound like a curious lesbian to me and you will never know if you are truly lesbian unless you go for it and try it out. You dont express yourself and you have to do that. Your letting your emotions trap you. If I were you ill try something out with your friend just to make sure or else you'll just be more curious and its going to get to far.